Alabama Woman Claims She Is The First Ever To Be Impregnated By A Goat

Plenty of people make jokes about the strange things that happen in Alabama, but this one is no joke. A 22-year-old woman, Janice Gilbert, has come forward with her story about her “labor of love.” The woman claims that she has been impregnated by her father’s goat named ‘Nibbles.’ She begins explaining how her fianc√©, now husband, is unable to have children, and the heartache it has caused them. She continues to insist that Nibbles was her only hope of having a family and a future.

¬†“Me and Nibbles been real close since I was four. He damn near been through everythang with me,” said Gilbert. “When my old man found out he couldn’t have no babies, he thought maybe we could get Nibbles semen and stick it up in my baby hole. Nibbles been gettin’ goats pregnant at the farm since I was a niblett myself. So I said why the hell not? So we gots some Vaseline and a turkey baster and now here we are. We got our little one on the way.”

When asked the obvious question if Gilbert was worried that something would be wrong with her baby like… oh I don’t know, come out half goat… she said, “Naw I think it’ll look like me. I already feel its toes in my ribs, it doesn’t feel like a hoof. Plus, what’s the worst that could happen? Maybe the kid gots some bigger ears or somethin’? I’m not worried.”

When faced with the scientific fact that it is impossible for a goat to impregnate a human, Gilbert had this to say, “Well that’s just stupid. Semen is semen and I hadn’t been with no one else. My daddy got the semen from Nibbles all on his own, and I trust my PawPaw. If my daddy says it will work, then it will work. He’s cared for me since I was born and he knows what he’s doin’!”

Acquaintances of the family say they are concerned that Gilbert’s dad may have used his own semen to impregnate his daughter. But this is Alabama, so that’s none of my business.